ITS MY CONFO PEEPS!

Well it's dusk,humans and this when i really come alive. I mean i once,had ribena after 9.30! SHH dont tell mummy under any circumstance! i'm sorry i havent been posting i have been busy with my warhammer collection (i got the fifth golden chariot!) so i wanted to make a wee post to express that GIFTS ARE WELCOME TO MY SUITE as it is my confirmation (and no ridiculous cupcakes,mummy says they give you cavities and they make my tum-tum hurt) so tomorrow after the mass (my sponsor will have to hold back Justin Bieber-esque bangs) and I shall wear a proper tuxedo with a yellow with multicolour dots shirt on it and a hat with a propeller on top. also a tie with a smiley face on it. i had to persuade mummy as she thought it was quite modern. she is wearing a pink floral number with a bonnet and black patent shoes from her college days-she was quite the hipster!
my cousin gary will be there too,he will be wearing a modern and boring shirt and dress pants combo in (what else?) black. My sister is wearing a purple frock with a big lace frill and pink trim and black patent shoes with pink frilly ankle socks.
i hear daragh ryan and co. are wearing jeans and a shirt and having a bouncy castle! HOW ABSURD! I will simply play competitive (advanced) chess with my cousins (NOT GARY-he will simply ''jam'' out with his guitar and husky vocals)
SO,send me gifts (and your number if you LIKE) and kisses (on the cheek! my my! i am NAUGHTY! ASHLING WILL BE JEALOUS-she has now turned emo by the way)
Ta ta for now peasants!
-Kevin.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN MORTALS?!

Well,as you can see I have not posted in a prolonged amount of time. I have been quite busy like going to Mothercare with mummy (they have a 50% off sale) ,trying to kill my cousin Gary for brainwashing my fair maiden into fancying him! MY MY! so I shall keep my superstar contest going,if you please. There's still time to join! So,I shall tell you how my April Fools Day went... I woke up and felt something wet on my pants...it smelled like egesta...(urine)...MY PANTS AND BED HAD PEE PEE! I started to sweat anxiously as I scrabbled to pull the sheets off my bed. I HAD PEED THE BED!!! Then Gary walked in. ''Oh buttercockles.'' I thought. ''OH.MY.GOD! HAHAHAH KEVIN PISSED THE BED!!'' Mummy came running. ''KEVIN EUGENE! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! I'm sorry but any boy who wee-wee's the bed has to have his mens deodorant confiscated!'' So I trudged to school smelling of wee wee and a corpse. I snivelled. Daragh and Brian went ''AWW WHATS THAT SICK SMELL?'' When I walked past. I shrugged them off but then my fellos,Mark and Adam played a prank on me. They cracked open a walnut,took out the nut and then put a note inside saying ''I am a walnut picker in the jungle and am being held against my will...Please save me...'' I believed it as any cool dude would and started screaming ''I HAVE TO SAVE THE WALNUT PICKER!'' In school,fish-head Mikey somehow put a bag of chocolate pudding in my pants,my bum was itchy then (i didnt know the bag was down there) i put my hand down to scratch and when I brought my hand out it was covered in chocolate pudding! Everyone even my teacher thought it was poo! I started wailing and crying for mummy. When I thought no one was looking I licked the chocolate pudding. I am now called ''Itchy Shite'' At ten to three (aka hometime) I walked home with a raincloud over my head! what a STUPID day. All my pranks FAILED. I tried to play pranks put they all went unnoticed. I cheered up when mummy announced we were having chicken shapes for dinner. At dinner my sister handed me the salt when I asked for it. I poured it lushiously over my chicken and then took a bite if my chicken. I spat it out. IT WAS SUGAR NOT SALT! Someone had put sugar in the salt jar! Well that was my april fools day more or less,and I'm the biggest fool of all. I'm depressed now. Kevin.

ALL BOUT KEVIN QUIZ!

Greetings! so I have launced a quiz to win a giftcode for superstar (i wont need your password) got any questions? ASK BELOW!
FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW!

1.I,Kevin was born in:
a) June 1998
b) May 1997
c) August 1999

2. My mole is situated:
a) on my chin
b) on the side of my nose
c) under my foot
d) you have a mole?!

3. My favourite song is:
a) Britney Spears-Oops I did it again
b) Jonas Brothers- S.O.S
c) Jonas Brothers- Burnin' up
d) Michael Bolton-Can I touch you there

4. I created this blog because:
a) I wanted to expand my brilliance even more
b) because I am so witty
c) I have an interesting life
d) all of the above

5. I have had __ girlfriends (imaginary included:
a) one
b) twenty
c) three
d) seven

6. I kissed my first real girlfriend:
a) on the hand
b) on the lips
c) on the cheek
d) on the top of the head.


That's all the questions mortals. So put the answers in the comments below and whoever gets them ALL right I shall give them the fabulous giftcode (no password required! thanks mummy!)
YOU HAVE TO BE FOLLOWING AND A MEMBER OF MY CLUB: All.Bout.Kevin
Good Luck!

WINNER OF SUPERSTAR CONTEST!

So the contest has closed,the guesses have been read and a winner has been picked!
First I would take the opportunity to thank everyone who has followed and continue to invite your friends as great prizes will be given for someone who invites 5 people who follow!
So without further delay...
the winner is PYTthatsme_
Her guess of 188 was right on the ball!
Well done!
I have contacted her and she chose to use the superstar membership for her main account which she does not wish to mention!
So thank you all!
More contests to come,keep following and inviting and reading! (AND COMMENTING!)
ALSO THE PERSON WHO COMMENTS THE MOST ON MY POSTS OVER THE NEXT WEEK WILL RECEIVE SOMETHING FAAAAAAABULOUSSSS!

Laters,
Kevin.

CONGRATS TO PYTthatsme_
!!

LAST CHANCE TO BECOME SUPERSTAR

Hello N.A (Naked Apes)
so you only have 15 minutes left to enter my contest to win superstar!!!!
allboutkevin.blogspot.com/2011/03/superstar-competition.html
FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW!
HURRY UP!!

Kevin.

My Song

KAY KAY K-K-KAY!
thats what the ladies
say say s-s-say!
And I'm the sorta lad
who really isnt bad
b-b-bad!
I'll look and maybe touch
and we can speak in dutch,gal.
so slap it. s-s-slap it!
I have poise
so we can make alot of noise
if ya know what i mean gal!

Kevin,kevin,kevin
the name that doesn't belong in a bin!
b-b-bin

MORE LATER!

My Day 11/3/11

Hello Hogwashers,
So yesterday was my highly anticpated tea party. Too bad Daragh,Brian,Lorcan,Stephen and Lee could not make it. But Kevin from the other class could. I walked out of the school gates with him and Mummy came rushing over ''KEVIN! (She said to me) who's that man you're talking to?!''
The ''man'' was other Kevin for he had already broken his voice,had a growth spurt and facial hair. May I remind you that he's 12.
''That's my compatriot,Kevin K.'' I hissed,mortified. Kevin K shifted uncomfortably.
''Oh!'' mummy straightened up and blushed. ''Why hello Kevin...K...and Kevin,don't worry I got an extra booster seat for you...''
Mummy strapped us both in,three including my sister.
Gary was in the front seat. ''Woah....shit,you're 12?'' He asked Kevin K. ''You look like 14!''
''Gary shut up!'' I cried. I'm so brave and such a rebel.
Mummy whipped her head backwards from the front seat! ''Kevin! DO NOT BE SO RUDE TO POOR GARY!''
Gary is so not poor. He was sitting in a new Ralph Lauren shirt and he has million euro comebacks.
I snuffled,trying not to cry.
Gary and Kevin K got on great. Gary treated Kevin K like he was same age as him,16,though he always said 12 year olds were immature.
Luckily Gary bogged off to a gig with his weirdo band.
''Now,'' Mummy set down two teacakes in front of us and a fresh cup of brew each.
We had such fun playing chess and playing with my action figures though he always made sure to keep his funny cap angled at me. It had this weird black circle in the middle that made weird noises whenever Kevin raised his left arm. Weird.
I got an email from starwarsJB:
Why wasn't I invited to the tea party?
Not saying I would have went because I have scouts.
I heard only Kevin K went! Ha ha.
SPONGEBOB DRAWER WINS!

Well toodle doo!
Kevin.

My Day so far 10/3/11

Hola Naked Apes,
So today was quite exciting so far as when I got home mummy had a stack of paper in her hand. Not any old paper though-they were space rocket shaped! I read them:
VOOM!
Greetings! This has just been imported from outer space by an alien!
A friendly one though!
You are cordially invited to Kevin's tea party on Friday 11/3/11 after school at 3.00pm sharp!
I shall collect you in my car of wonders!
You shall stay till late: 6.45pm! If that's alright with your mummys!
Please RSVP to Kevin as soon as possible!
-Kevin's mummy.

'Oh mummy!' I cried, 'They're spectacular! They'll think this is sooo cool!'
'I'm glad you like them papoose.'
I skipped up to my room and placed them in my school bag.
Then mummy helped me with my homework.
My sister was showing off about her little-girly Justin Bieber book she got. I shoved her and she shoved me into the wall so I burst into tears and Gary (my ignoramus cousin) laughed so much he almost wet his stupid looking skinny jeans.
Then he had to run off to band practice. His parents are always going on holidays by themselves,that's why he stays here so often. I don't blame them. If I was Gary's parents I'd always go on holidays too.

More later.
Kevin.

I'm currently working on...

Click to enlarge.

I think it is quite good,don't you?

Tell me your toughts in the comments below.

Kevin.

My Day 7/3/11

Salutations Mortals,
Yesterday was a VERY proud day for me because:
Well after school on my bed was...(wait for it!) MY VERY FIRST MENS DEODORANT! It's a Sure for Men and I ran downstairs whooping with joy. Mummy smiled and said 'You're first deodorant for men. I know,you're starting to sweat recently,all boys do at this age. I had a chat with Daragh Ryan's mum and she said you're at the age to wear men deodorant.'
Then my heart did stop a bit in case she told Daragh but men (like me) don't fret about that kind of hoo-ha.
So mummy took me up to my bedroom and lifted my school jumper and shirt off and tolded me to lift my arms to discover I,Kevin,have my first armpit hair! YAY!! I'm soo manley!!
Mummy gasped and called in Daddy and Sister and my stupid cousin (who's staying AGAIN) came too.
My cousin,Gary laughed so so much but I,as a man chose to ignore him but when tears pricked my eyes Mummy hugged me so I felt better. Then she showed me how to apply the deodorant.

Later that evening Mummy called Gran-gran and told her. I was so proud!

So back to normality I went on the bidding website and saw a new message from starwarsJB

Freak,
who do you think you are? I see you in the yard everyday trying to fit in. WELL IT DOESNT WORK. I fly solo on yard but all the lads respect me but they have zero respect for you.
So don't be all full of yourself.

I swivelled around on the computer chair who could it be? Who's always on yard by themselves? The teachers on yard duty I suppose.

I hope it shall all blow over.
Kevin.

My Day 6/3/11

Hello personages,
So yesterday I went to 8.30 am mass with mummy and my sister. For once Daddy was there too! We were all a happy family and we went to a cafe and all had beans,toast and tea. Mummy ordered special milk as I am lactose intolerant.
Then we went home and I had a new email on that bidding site from that fan of mine,starwarsJB.

Hi dorkus,
did you have a nice Saturday? well that's good because you're going to have a horrible week. I am the master of evil. I am the greatest too,I have double-sided Little Stars chocolates,so ha. All you have is those buns you bake with mummy everyday and cart to school for lunch.
Well you'll be a flabby malkin,won't you?

I guessed he was in my class now. I bring buns that I made with mummy to school for lunch everyday so...
MAYBE IT'S TEACHER?
I started to panic then. I broke into a sweat (not hormone related) and my throat formed a hard lump and dried up. My eyes stung with tears. I thought teacher LOVED me. All teachers do!
I ran downstairs mummy and shouted out the whole story,not realising she was in the middle of talking to someone.
Not just anyone though.
Daragh Ryan's mother.
(Turns out she was there because she was confused about something like Confirmation dates and thought my mummy was reliable-she's right)
Daragh Ryan's mum looked like she was about to burst out in laughter.
WHAT IF SHE TOLD DARAGH THAT I WAS CRYING ABOUT MY TEACHER HATING ME???






Ahhhh!
Kevin.

My Superb Drawing.

Hello Mortals,I decided to upload a drawing that recently I have completed. Do you like it? Comment and Follow!!!
ALSO READ MY SS COMP POST BELOW!!

Kevin.

SUPERSTAR COMPETITION. CLOSED!

CONTEST CLOSED! WINNER: PYTthatsme_
So mortals I'm having a raffle,the prize? A giftcode. I'm not interested in becoming superstar as I'm more interested in getting followers for my blog.
NO PASSWORD NEEDED!
All you have to do is follow this blog.
I am choosing a number between 1-200. You can only guess three numbers. And you are not allowed choose them in order. example 1.2.3.
Give your guesses in the comments section below and the competition is over when I reach 12 followers,If this is successful I hope to do lots more competitions like this maybe not for superstar but we'll see how it goes.
SO GET GUESSING!
Kevin.

My Day 4/3/11

Greetings cyber-strangers,
So yesterday was quite a treat. After school mummy and I (in our parkas of course) trotted up to the video shop (Xtra Vision) usually the only time I'm allowed TV (let alone DVDs) is on special occasions like when Daddy got promoted to the chap who puts the mint in the toothpaste (obviously he works in a toothpaste factory) five years ago. Or when there is a documentary about the Human Body as mummy says I need to know these things or about the Australian Fruit Bat.
So anyways,we were in Xtra Vision when I saw my favourite movie. I brought it into school in 5th class, THE MAGIC ROUNDABOUT! the cartoon of course,mummy says anything un-animated is not suitable.
And Mummy said I could get some sugar-free jellybeans from the chemist. I carried them in my corduroys pocket. We were merrily skipping home,our feet barely touching the pavement. We arrived in my estate and on the green area (though it's so covered in litter it doesn't deserve to be called 'green' but mummy keeps our part quite immaculate.) and guess who was there? My number 1 fans of course: Daragh,Ultan,Aaron,Stephen,Lee and Bradley. Oh,and Jordan. He's sort of a second banana.
They all called over 'HEY KEVIN WAT DVD DO YA GOT THERE?'
I racked my brains for something 'cool' (though whats cooler than the Magic Roundabout I dont know. Let the lower mortals prattle I suppose) 'Die hard three!' I meant it to come out all tough but it came out like the Peruvian Mouse squeak.
Mummy looked startled and shocked.
'No! He has the Magic Roundabout! He's not allowed watch Die Hard THREE until he's forty! Do you boys want to come and join us? We have jellybeans! They're sugar free of course!'
Then I did something that might yield my relationship with mummy goodbye.
'NO MUMMY! I mean...MA! NO MA! YOU KNOW I ONLY GOT THAT DVD FOR MY 9 YEAR OLD SISTER!'
The boys didn't looked impressed to my dismay. They looked at my outfit next.
'Kevin wa de hell are you wearin?' Exclaimed Aaron,his nose running erraticly,I think that happens when he gets excited. He must have noticed his nose because he wiped it on his sleeve furiously.
Mummy shouted 'THAT'S VILE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME YOUNG MAN??'
He hesitated and eventually yelled 'JASON BEHAN!' and then he looked around nervously.
Mummy exclaimed hysterically 'NO! I know that Jason Behan,he comes to play,what a lovely fellow.'
Aaron paused again. 'NO,I'M LEE WHITELEY BYRNE!' And with,that he ran.
The actual Lee W.B yanked down his own pants and underwear and shouted 'I'M AARON BENNET!' and they all sprinted,his pants still down so he was lumbering.
Mummy tutted 'I'm going to enquire about those boys.'
'Please don't mummy,' I begged.
She sighed and then whispered 'Do you still want to watch the Magic Roundabout?'
I looked around and then murmured 'Yes mummy.'
So we did just that and I clung to her during the scary.

Later I went on that action figure bidding website and,HARK! Another email from that user again. His name is 'starwarsJB'
Wonder who that is.
Anyways,here is the email.

Loser,
I've been watching you for quite a while and you're a bit of a geek I can gather. Your drawings are rubbish compared to my Spongebob masterpieces. And your mole is gross,just thought I'd add that bit in.
See you soon dorkous.

He draws Spongebob. That's hardcore.

Laters Ya'll,
Kevin.

My Day 2/3/11

Hello home-dogs and away-cats (I made up the away-cats one in opposition to the home-dogs. I'm so witty and cool,ANOTHER REASON YOU SHOULD DATE ME!)
So yesterday (2/3/11) I had a very fine day with my fellos. I am very cool and popular at school thats why they all gossip about me. Not in a 'he's such a loser way-hey' way (that's what the dorks are for who play with LEGO! haw haw!) but in a 'I wish I were him way'.
So after school mummy brought me and my silly sister to a salad shop and we all wore our parkas. We looked 'dead' cool.
I had a special salad with shaped carrot slices (mummy ordered them specially) she was in such a good mood,darling mummy. Then guess who showed up.
Daragh and Ultan and Brian and Lorcan.
I know,they love me so much they follow me!
They all stared and whispered more longing comments about me.
Darling Mummy suddenly marched over to them and scolded 'Stop it you naughty boys,do you know Kevin comes home crying over you?'
At that point they all were in tears themselves...laughing.
I hopped over to mummy and tugged on her parka sleeve and whispered 'I was crying because I was LAUGHING!'
Mummy tutted and pinched my cheek and murmered 'leave it to me,petty pie.'
Daragh and co. all respect me now,really,the walked out sad but then they must have seen something funny because then they laughed.
Later that evening my sister had a medal awards ceremony for art and mummy and I went along too.
And I saw her.
That girl last year in my class. I sat beside and she totally 'digged' me! It was a pity her best friend wasn't their though,as she is quite the bathing beauty.
I stared at the other girl who was in my class last year though and mummy saw me staring and whispered 'isnt she a nice girl. do you like her Kevvy?'
I murmered girls were icky. That phrase always worked in 4th class but now she sighed and murmered something about me being a future fairy.
So that was my day summoned up.
Oh! And I recieved an email on my favourite action figure bidding website account.
Let me copy it here:
Hi you cool dude
ure so cool and sound and pepole dnot tink ure a dork.
oh and u loked so preshus with mammy today.

It was quite the normal for me as you can imagine! I have so many fans! Only problem is they can't spell!
Let the lower mortals prattle I suppose,
Kevin.

TOP COOLIE SONGS

Greetings naked apes,
I am Kevin,the epitome of brilliance,poise and handsomeness.
Today instead of a 'my day diary' post I am going to post top coolie songs. I am very music forward,my style of music SO deserves to be played at 'Sash'.
1. Billie Holiday-I'll be seeing you. My Rating: *****
2. Mariah Carey-Obsessed. My Rating: ****
3. Hannah Montana-Ordinary Gurl (oh yeah I said 'gurl'!) My Rating: ****
4. Boyzone-Love Me For A Reason. My Rating: *****
5. Sean Kingston-Beautiful Girl. (I'm so hip and coolio) My Rating: ****
6. Michael Bolton-Can I touch you there. (I'm so naughty!) My Rating: *****

Now that is all Earthlings.
Listen to those songs (especially the last one) and think of me...
Kevin.

My Day 25/2/2011

Good Morning, Early Birds.
I woke at about Eight this morning,My My! I was up being SICK with my bruise that my SICK cousin gave to me.So Darling Mummy gave me a speical breckfast consisting of,Pink Juice,Mummas' boys biscuits and a Hippo pancake.
Mummy dressed me in my new Mother-Care Monkey top and denim dungarees.She said I looked darling.I thought I did too,but then we saw Daragh and Ultan 'Mooching' about outside Tesco when mummy and I went up to buy me my Speical milk (as I have a speical condition of lactose intolerant-cy) When they saw us,Daragh shouted over to me ''Oh,HI Kevin, We're seeing an AWFUL lot of you this mid-term,yeah? you must be having SOME FUN with mummy,right,Ulty?'' and 'Ulty' ,in a new striped Hugo Boss Winter collection jumper, Exclaimed ''Yeah,Daragh'' and they ran off laughing.Mummy diden't unterstand,she said ''Why were those boys laughing at you,Kevin? Are they in your class?'' ''Yeah'' I mumbled.
''Don't use such a VILE term,Kevin! Did I raise you in a cave?!'' then her voice softened a little. ''Do I have to go to the school about it?''
''No..Maybe..I don't know,Mummy!'' I said,and started to bawl.Mummy looked around anxiously,as-if I was embarassing her deliberately.She took a sudden grab of my milk,and stormed out of the shop.It could have been a good dramatic escape,but then disaster! the alarm started to wail,and security gaurds were coming towards us.They took one look at me and said ''I'm sure this was a mistake..''.We were let off easy but everyone was still looking at us as if we just landed from planet Coo-Coo.
Mummy shouted ''IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, KEVIN.'' And she dragged me away still shouting.
She shoved me into my booster seat and strapped me in tightly.
Then when she got into the car,her lips pressed together,she said in her sweetest tone,taking a deep,deep breath, ''Would you like a jumper like that little ginger head boy,Kevin?''
I thought about saying no,but it WAS a nice jumper so.. ''Yes please,Mummy!''
Then,as we were driving off into the afternoon sunlight, I gazed out my window to see the carton of milk was dripping onto the pavement.
I sighed and smiled and wondered how everything turns out ok. (Wow I'm handsome AND deep! Ladies you are LUCKY!)
More later humans,
Kevin.

My Day 22/2/11

I woke up quite early: 5a.m but decided to get up. I drew some more pictures of my hunny and this time used watercolour-oh my!
Mummy was better today as she let me have billy roll on my toast. We then went to a near by shop (twas a newsagents/grocers) and I caught sight of the 'shag bands'. In 2010,everyone in school was obsessed with them. And I,Kevin,was master. I had 100s,everyone wanted some off me! I WAS KING! Mummy thought they were just colourful bracelets but nay nay!
She soon found out what they meant. I got banned from Stardoll,Billy Roll and sketching for 2 weeks.
But my king-ness was spectacular while it lasted.
Yesterday I asked for some 'colour-dee bands' and Mummy said a firm no.

THE REST OF THE DAY WAS BORING.
MY COUSIN WENT HOME BLAH BLAAAAAH.







And he punched me. And my bruise is black and yellow with specks of blue.
Kevin.

MY DAY: 21/2/11

Hello Mortals,
So today was quite an accustomed day. I slept in until 6:30 am and then I got up,dusted and polished my collectibles and my stamp collections. Then mummy made me oatmeal with milk and homemade apple puree. My stupid sister told me it was a baby breakfast,she couldn't talk,she had Cow & Gate and she's 9! HONESTLY!
So then I went on my Stardoll and had some online interactive fun there and I looked cool in my yellow shirt and matching mug.
At around 10,mummy called me for bath time. I argued and said I could do it myself (but that was just because my cousin was present [as their mummy and father have been gone to Las Vegas for a week of gambling,smoking and of course,drinking.] and incase he'd think it strange that mummy still bathes me though I cannot decipher how that is strange...) but mummy hauled me into the bath and said I was being a baby with my 'little action figures' so why couldn't I be bathed by my mummy!
SIGH!
I was then dragged into endless hours of shopping. My 9 year old sister wanted makeup and asked in SUCH a sickening tone that she got some! My dearest Ashling can only pull off makeup! Even then it's quite subtle but smoken hot! Quite like me,actually.
Mummy asked why I was in such a sulk and I mumbled something significant about missing Russia. That usually pulls mummy's heart strings but today her heart was no puppet. Oooh my my! What a quote I made there!
We went to Mothercare and mummy bought me a new (quite tight-fitting) top with a little monkey on it with a speech bubble saying ''Mummy's Little Monkey''. I think it's quite coolie.
So we had lunch in the shopping centre. My,wasn't I the cooliest with my mummy at Burger King? I even got a cardboard crown!
Then disaster struck.
I saw Daragh,Brian,Ultan (in a new Hugo Boss Jumper) and Lorcan sauntering around. They're my fellos but they make fun of people who go uptown with their mummys,I don't know why.
Their ''hardy.''
I hid behind mummy but they all call ''Kevin! ARE YOU WITH YOUR MA?!'' Then they run off,laughing.
I started to cry so mummy carted me off to the ladies bathrooms and mopped me up and said she'd take me to Art & Hobby to treat me to new Lego. But I told her that Lego was what people like Jason (used to be in my class,he's a dork HAW HAW) played with. I wanted a new sketch pad with pencils,a new scrapbook and in Easons: Warhammar and White Dwarf!
Mummy sighed. I'm beginning to think my mother is having some sort of female breakdown.
We had to go home,just as I was having so much fun!
My sister's stupid friends came round. It's so stupid,we're off school for a week and they ''totally have to see each other or we'll like,die!''
So I read my magazines,sketched a few pictures of Ashling and what she may look like in 5 years,I've since decided : splendiferous and foxy!
I drew her in a lacy,decollete,black frock and patent shoes and -OH MY- fishnet tights!
Well for dinner we had smiley faces,beans and special shaped chicken nuggets.
Father came home and mummy expressed her feelings and he pretended to care.
I went up to the guest room to see my cousin and he was in his underpants on the phone!
Lig me scread as dom. (Irish for 'I let a scream out of me' Obviously.) He pushed me against the wall,covered my mouth,muttered into the phone and hung up.
'SHUT UP KEVIN!' he boxed me on the shoulder. I winced with the pain and let a squeak out. (There's a bruise there now by the way)
'What was that for?' I tried to sound tough. Well I am the toughest,hardiest,coolest guy around so...I didn't have to try.
'I was on the phone to my girlfriend!' He hissed.
'In your underwear?' I was intrigued,is this what boys do when they're on the phone to their girlfriends?
He turned puce. 'Don't tell your mammy,' He begged.
I nodded. 'Yes. I mean, yeah cool...bro.'
'Dont' do that,Kevin.' He sighed.
'Yes.I mean yea-'
'OKAY I GET IT! NOW GO!'
I was pushed out of the room.
I had something against him.
And that was my day.
Kevin.

Introduction!!!!

Greetings,now before we get started I must tell you basic facts:
-I am Kevin,a total hunk.
-I love Warhammer and White Dwarf.
-I collect action figures.
-I draw.
-I have lots of friends.
-I am Russian.
-I am currently single but considering how smoking hot I am that will change soon.
-I always wear this groovy and hip 'hoodie' to school (thats's what the cool fellos like me call a jumper-hoodie) that is navy and blue striped.
-I have an excellent mole that is a ladies magnet.

Now,I have some brain teasers for you all to drool upon:
1. 56X34-12X2= ?
2. E=mc_?
3. 20% of 5,000,820= ?
4. 432+4583X782= ?
5. WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?



Goodbye Mortals.
Kevin.