WHERE HAVE I BEEN MORTALS?!

Well,as you can see I have not posted in a prolonged amount of time. I have been quite busy like going to Mothercare with mummy (they have a 50% off sale) ,trying to kill my cousin Gary for brainwashing my fair maiden into fancying him! MY MY! so I shall keep my superstar contest going,if you please. There's still time to join! So,I shall tell you how my April Fools Day went... I woke up and felt something wet on my pants...it smelled like egesta...(urine)...MY PANTS AND BED HAD PEE PEE! I started to sweat anxiously as I scrabbled to pull the sheets off my bed. I HAD PEED THE BED!!! Then Gary walked in. ''Oh buttercockles.'' I thought. ''OH.MY.GOD! HAHAHAH KEVIN PISSED THE BED!!'' Mummy came running. ''KEVIN EUGENE! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! I'm sorry but any boy who wee-wee's the bed has to have his mens deodorant confiscated!'' So I trudged to school smelling of wee wee and a corpse. I snivelled. Daragh and Brian went ''AWW WHATS THAT SICK SMELL?'' When I walked past. I shrugged them off but then my fellos,Mark and Adam played a prank on me. They cracked open a walnut,took out the nut and then put a note inside saying ''I am a walnut picker in the jungle and am being held against my will...Please save me...'' I believed it as any cool dude would and started screaming ''I HAVE TO SAVE THE WALNUT PICKER!'' In school,fish-head Mikey somehow put a bag of chocolate pudding in my pants,my bum was itchy then (i didnt know the bag was down there) i put my hand down to scratch and when I brought my hand out it was covered in chocolate pudding! Everyone even my teacher thought it was poo! I started wailing and crying for mummy. When I thought no one was looking I licked the chocolate pudding. I am now called ''Itchy Shite'' At ten to three (aka hometime) I walked home with a raincloud over my head! what a STUPID day. All my pranks FAILED. I tried to play pranks put they all went unnoticed. I cheered up when mummy announced we were having chicken shapes for dinner. At dinner my sister handed me the salt when I asked for it. I poured it lushiously over my chicken and then took a bite if my chicken. I spat it out. IT WAS SUGAR NOT SALT! Someone had put sugar in the salt jar! Well that was my april fools day more or less,and I'm the biggest fool of all. I'm depressed now. Kevin.