MY DAY: 21/2/11

Hello Mortals,
So today was quite an accustomed day. I slept in until 6:30 am and then I got up,dusted and polished my collectibles and my stamp collections. Then mummy made me oatmeal with milk and homemade apple puree. My stupid sister told me it was a baby breakfast,she couldn't talk,she had Cow & Gate and she's 9! HONESTLY!
So then I went on my Stardoll and had some online interactive fun there and I looked cool in my yellow shirt and matching mug.
At around 10,mummy called me for bath time. I argued and said I could do it myself (but that was just because my cousin was present [as their mummy and father have been gone to Las Vegas for a week of gambling,smoking and of course,drinking.] and incase he'd think it strange that mummy still bathes me though I cannot decipher how that is strange...) but mummy hauled me into the bath and said I was being a baby with my 'little action figures' so why couldn't I be bathed by my mummy!
SIGH!
I was then dragged into endless hours of shopping. My 9 year old sister wanted makeup and asked in SUCH a sickening tone that she got some! My dearest Ashling can only pull off makeup! Even then it's quite subtle but smoken hot! Quite like me,actually.
Mummy asked why I was in such a sulk and I mumbled something significant about missing Russia. That usually pulls mummy's heart strings but today her heart was no puppet. Oooh my my! What a quote I made there!
We went to Mothercare and mummy bought me a new (quite tight-fitting) top with a little monkey on it with a speech bubble saying ''Mummy's Little Monkey''. I think it's quite coolie.
So we had lunch in the shopping centre. My,wasn't I the cooliest with my mummy at Burger King? I even got a cardboard crown!
Then disaster struck.
I saw Daragh,Brian,Ultan (in a new Hugo Boss Jumper) and Lorcan sauntering around. They're my fellos but they make fun of people who go uptown with their mummys,I don't know why.
Their ''hardy.''
I hid behind mummy but they all call ''Kevin! ARE YOU WITH YOUR MA?!'' Then they run off,laughing.
I started to cry so mummy carted me off to the ladies bathrooms and mopped me up and said she'd take me to Art & Hobby to treat me to new Lego. But I told her that Lego was what people like Jason (used to be in my class,he's a dork HAW HAW) played with. I wanted a new sketch pad with pencils,a new scrapbook and in Easons: Warhammar and White Dwarf!
Mummy sighed. I'm beginning to think my mother is having some sort of female breakdown.
We had to go home,just as I was having so much fun!
My sister's stupid friends came round. It's so stupid,we're off school for a week and they ''totally have to see each other or we'll like,die!''
So I read my magazines,sketched a few pictures of Ashling and what she may look like in 5 years,I've since decided : splendiferous and foxy!
I drew her in a lacy,decollete,black frock and patent shoes and -OH MY- fishnet tights!
Well for dinner we had smiley faces,beans and special shaped chicken nuggets.
Father came home and mummy expressed her feelings and he pretended to care.
I went up to the guest room to see my cousin and he was in his underpants on the phone!
Lig me scread as dom. (Irish for 'I let a scream out of me' Obviously.) He pushed me against the wall,covered my mouth,muttered into the phone and hung up.
'SHUT UP KEVIN!' he boxed me on the shoulder. I winced with the pain and let a squeak out. (There's a bruise there now by the way)
'What was that for?' I tried to sound tough. Well I am the toughest,hardiest,coolest guy around so...I didn't have to try.
'I was on the phone to my girlfriend!' He hissed.
'In your underwear?' I was intrigued,is this what boys do when they're on the phone to their girlfriends?
He turned puce. 'Don't tell your mammy,' He begged.
I nodded. 'Yes. I mean, yeah cool...bro.'
'Dont' do that,Kevin.' He sighed.
'Yes.I mean yea-'
'OKAY I GET IT! NOW GO!'
I was pushed out of the room.
I had something against him.
And that was my day.
Kevin.